Inner Demon Read online

  Turning the key in the lock, I stepped into my living room to find Trixie sitting on the edge of the couch with her hands folded tightly in her lap. Her brother Eldon was prowling my dining room and kitchen, a scowl on his face. I scowled back at him. We’d never actually gotten along. I think it had to do with the fact that I was a warlock and that I was the reason his sister had chosen to stay in Low Town rather than returning to her ­people. Of course, I was the one who had saved their race, so you’d think he’d cut me a little slack, but not this prick.

  Carefully closing the door behind me, I walked over to the dining room table and draped my coat over the back of one of the chairs. Eldon had stopped pacing and out of the corner of my eye I could see Trixie now standing beside the sofa. I wracked my brain for the perfect words to say: the words that would win her and convince her to stay. At that moment, I would have promised anything. If she wanted, I would give up magic. I would find a way to be a normal guy who did normal things that didn’t attract the attention of murderers, thugs, and the Towers.

  But the words I needed in that instant would be a lie, and we both knew it.

  “I thought you were going to give me more time,” I said softly, breaking the tense silence that had grown in the room.

  “It’s too dangerous,” Eldon said in clipped tones. My head jerked up and I clenched my teeth, fighting the urge to snap at the man.

  “Don’t, Eldon,” Trixie sharply said, surprising me. But then I had no doubt that she could sense that I was just about to crack. Trixie always knew how I felt. “Just let me talk, please.”

  Without breaking his gaze, Eldon nodded stiffly. The elf leaned back against the wall across from me, folding his arms over his chest.

  “I thought it would be best if I left now,” Trixie said. Where her brother’s voice was like a sledgehammer beating against me, Trixie’s sweet voice was a blade, slicing through my heart as if to remove it completely from my chest. “The weather has been getting worse and we’ve heard whispers that the Winter Court is planning for heavy snowfall at the start of the new year. It would be safest if I leave now.”

  A sigh slipped from my parted lips. I dropped my head to stare down at the top of the table before turning to face her. “You know that’s not the reason. If you’re going to leave with my child, the least you could do for both of us is to tell the truth.”

  Tears glistened in her wide green eyes and I almost wanted to take the words back. My first impulse was to take her into my arms and tell her that it would all be okay and that I understood why she was doing this, but I couldn’t. I was hurting too and I didn’t understand why she had to do this when it was killing us both.

  “Low Town is too dangerous.” Trixie paused and cleared her throat, though her voice wasn’t any less rough when she continued. “You’ve become too dangerous.” When my gaze narrowed on her, she started speaking much faster as if she was trying to head off my next words. “You’re messing with some kind of magic that is just bad. I don’t know what it is, but you’re changing. You’re becoming more reckless. The Towers are demanding more of you, and I’m afraid that you’ll never be able to escape again. I’m afraid for you, Gage. I’m afraid that if they keep demanding, eventually you’re not going to want to leave. “

  “I’m fine—­”

  “No, you’re not. You’ve been hunting down two different killers while still keeping up with your hours at the parlor. You’re spreading yourself so thin that you’re barely sleeping, barely eating. It’s affecting your control over magic. Most ­people wouldn’t notice, but there’s a change in the air wherever you go. It’s like waiting for lightning to strike.”

  “I’ve got it under control. I’m f—­”

  “No, you’re not!” Trixie closed the distance between us and cupped my cheeks in both of her hands. “Please, you have to realize that you’re not fine. We’re not fine. You need help. You need to stop and get away from the Towers.”

  Tears slipped down her pale cheeks when she blinked, but she didn’t wipe them away. She kept her hands on me and I was at last shaken by her fear. Her crisp fresh scent floated around me. If I closed my eyes I could see a spring rain on a green glade filled with wildflowers. I could hear birds singing and I could feel the cool water hitting my face. The feel of her, of her own gentle magic, broke through the sludge of darkness that had coated me for so long.

  “I just wanted to keep you safe,” I said, struggling to get the words past the lump in my throat.

  “I know, my love. You have tried so hard, but what we wish for will take more time and more power than either of us possesses. So long as the Towers exist, they’ll haunt us. I’m afraid of bringing a child into that kind of life.”

  “What if it were just you? Would you stay?” I asked. It was a stupid question to ask because it didn’t reflect reality any longer. But something irrational in me had to know that she would have fought for me if she had only herself to worry about. Somehow, I thought knowing that would help ease the pain that was suffocating me.

  “Yes,” she said in a rush. She stood on tiptoe and pressed her lips to mine in a kiss made damp by her tears. She kissed me a second time and then kissed my chin as she stood flat-­footed on the floor again. “If it were just me, I’d stay. Damn the Towers and the danger. If it was just me, I’d stay with you. I would fight for you and I would win.”

  Reaching out, I pulled her against me, wrapping my arms tightly around her as I squeezed my eyes shut against a sudden burning. I didn’t know if her answer made me feel better or worse. I’d loved Trixie for so long, and we’d had so little time together. We didn’t start dating until after she’d found out the truth about me. I respected her too damn much to take a chance on a relationship without her knowing that I was a warlock. Now I was losing her.

  “Trixie,” Eldon said, reminding me that the elf was still here. My arms reflexively tightened around Trixie as if he’d tried to pull her out of my arms. Maybe in a way, he had. He was reminding us both that it was time to go.

  It was an inner struggle but I finally loosened my hold on her and took a step back, even though I kept my hands locked on her forearms. I looked down at her, confident that I’d always remember what she was wearing at that moment. She had on her favorite worn blue jeans with the small hole in the right knee. Her pale blue sweater reminded me of the summer sky on a cloudless day. Beneath the sweater, she wore the black T-­shirt I’d randomly picked up for her as a joke. It had a picture of an animated ninja cat on it because I complained that she moved so quietly around my apartment

  I placed my right hand over her lower abdomen, which was only now starting to show a little bulge. “Do you know what it’s going to be yet?”

  She placed her hand over mine, holding it there. “Not yet. Another month. Maybe a little longer. Do you have any suggestions for names?”

  “I do,” I said with a fragile smile, my head popping up to look at her. Releasing her, I knelt down before her so that my face was directly in front of her stomach. I gently placed my hands on either of her hips, my thumbs brushing against her stomach. She was so small and slender in my hands. I’d never get to see her grow large with our child. I shoved the thought away and clung to the happy moment I’d held just a second ago.

  “I never told you this, but when I went to see Mother Nature, I met several souls who were living in her . . . place,” I started, struggling for the right words. Mother Nature lived in a sort of energy crossroads, having largely abandoned Earth because of the warlocks and witches making a mess of everything. “There was one soul in particular. He was so very small, so very young. When I saw him, he had curly blond hair and blue eyes. He was beautiful, Trixie. And the moment I held him, I knew he was mine.”

  “You met your son?” Trixie asked in a hushed whisper.

  I looked up to see her expression filled with surprise and wonder. I smiled at her, loving the feel of her hand
as her fingers slid through my hair in a reassuring caress. “I think I met our son. The soul of the child I held, I knew he would one day be my son, but I didn’t know who his mother would be. But if the baby you carry is a boy, I think it will be the soul that I met.”

  “I hope you’re right,” she said in a strained voice.

  “When I was with Mother Nature, I called him Squall. Could you . . . ?”

  She nodded, wiping away fresh tears with her free hand. “I’ll honor it.”

  “Thank you.” Leaning forward, I pressed a kiss to her abdomen while inwardly praying that this wasn’t the closest I ever came to kissing or holding my child. I stayed there for a second, my forehead pressed against Trixie’s stomach as I blinked back the tears and swallowed past the lump that was choking me. My throat was raw and the ache in my chest left me feeling as if my heart had been passed through a meat grinder.

  After several deep breaths, I stood again and took a step back. Trixie was crying openly now, while trying to keep a smile pasted on her lips as if she could reassure me that this was for the best.

  “I’ll send pictures and letters somehow. I’ll keep you updated on everything, I promise,” she said in a wavering voice.

  “And I will find a way to make it safe. Even if it means tearing down the Towers one by one. It will be safe for you and our child. We’ll be together one day, I promise you that.”

  “I know we will,” she said and then turned quickly and hurried out the door. The sound of her sobbing could be heard echoing down the hall as she descended the stairs.

  Eldon moved to follow after her, but I grabbed his shoulder and slammed him against the nearest wall. The elf glared at me, his hand going to his side like he was going for a weapon, but I was already there in his face.

  “You will watch over her. Keep her safe with your ­people. Do you understand me?” I snarled.

  “Yes,” he hissed as me through clenched teeth.

  “No one bothers her. No one goes near her or upsets her.”

  “My sister is in enough pain. I would not have her suffer more.”

  “And our child—­”

  “I will protect the child as if he were my own,” Eldon replied, his tone softening slightly for the first time.

  “I don’t what him to suffer because of who his father is.”

  “The child will not.” Eldon paused, looking a little uncomfortable. “While I might not be fond of you, the ­people of the Summer Court know what you have done for our race. You are . . . respected. Your child will be held in high esteem.”

  With a nod, I released Eldon and stepped away from him. The elf gave me a small bow of his head and slipped out the open door. The silence of the empty apartment was suddenly overwhelming. I closed the door with a loud slam and leaned against it with my hands over my head.

  “I will keep you safe!” I screamed, the desperate shout reverberating through the emptiness. “I will destroy them all! I . . . I will keep you safe.”

  And then I let the pain consume me.

  Chapter 8

  I woke up lying half under the dining-­room table, staring into the kitchen. I had no idea how I’d gotten there. It was only extreme discomfort that finally drove me to sit up. Sun poured through the open window blinds, casting the dusty living room in a golden light that was almost sickening considering the state of my life. Trixie was gone and I felt like I had no reason to ever move again. There was no reason to get up, make coffee, take a shower, or breathe.

  Leaning back against the wall, I placed my elbows on my bent knees and roughly rubbed my face. My eyes felt like they had a pound of sand in them and my throat was raw. The throbbing ache in my head was getting worse the longer I stayed conscious. It was tempting to call up a snowstorm to blot out the sun while I crawled into my bed to stay for a few days.

  But what would that have accomplished? I groaned and leaned my head back until it banged against the wall behind me. Trixie would still be gone. The killer stalking pregnant women would still be free, murdering more ­people. The other psychopath would be preparing his final triumph and Gideon would not be able to stop this asshole alone. And the Towers needed to be taken down permanently.

  If I stopped the killers and destroyed the Towers, Trixie would come back. The world would be safe. She’d have to come back. I didn’t know if I was right or even if that was the sanest thought to cross my mind that morning, but it was a start. It was enough to get me to my unsteady feet. I had to hold on to the hope that I could get her back—­that I could prove to her that I could create a safe home for her and our child.

  I started the coffeemaker, creating more noise than substance in the process as my brain was having trouble getting my hands to obey commands. With the dark liquid brewing, I climbedinto the shower while the water was still ice cold to clear my head and shock myself awake. I needed all the cylinders running if I was going to figure this one out.

  Serah would be hot on the trail of the tattooed killer and I fully expected her to call me with information at some point during the day. But the other murderer was out of her reach. The police might be able to identify the woman, but I needed Gideon to perfect the tracking spell with the blood he’d gotten from Serah. The only problem that was left was identifying the other killer. Gideon and I needed to know what the fuck we were up against before we met for the final showdown. He’d nearly killed us once. I didn’t think we’d be able to escape a second time.

  Unfortunately, Zyrus couldn’t identify the fucker from the magic or the description I had given it. I’d kind of hoped that the demon had been around enough to be able to recognize every creature that walked the Earth. I guess there were still a few that escaped its notice.

  I needed someone who knew a little bit about everything, particularly the dark side of this world. Someone who had his nimble little fingers in everything. And there was only one man in this city who knew everything that happened within the bounds of Low Town, and maybe even beyond.

  Chang.The black-­market dealer had his withered hands in everything, especially those rare, impossible-­to-­get items. He knew freaking everything without being told. And if I was lucky he’d know exactly what I’d need to do to defeat this asshole. I generally didn’t go to Chang for information, but rather for that rare item to complete a complicated potion or to save my ass from a nasty lunatic.

  Turning off the water just as it was getting warm, I jumped out of the shower and toweled off the majority of the water still running down my body while hurrying to my bedroom. My heart was racing. I finally had a shot at getting one up on this bastard. It was a big first step in getting Trixie back.

  Hell, if I could get rid of these two assholes today, I could maybe convince her to stay. Trixie and Eldon couldn’t have gotten too far from Low Town. I could use a tracking spell to find her and convince her that it was safe to come back.

  I made a complete mess of my bedroom, or rather an even bigger mess than it already was, as I searched for something that was in the gradient of mostly clean. It had been weeks since I’d last bothered to take a pile of clothes down to the laundry room in the basement of my apartment building. For the past several days, I had been surviving on clothes that weren’t covered in blood, ripped to hell, or smelled like spoiled milk and feet.

  The faded black jeans I pulled on were my last pair of clean pants. I’d either have to do laundry or wear shorts tomorrow. For most ­people, the choice would be clear considering that it was December and the temperature hadn’t climbed above freezing in more than a week. Sadly, as I pulled up the zipper, I found myself praying that I didn’t get blood or a new hole in these because I would be wearing them tomorrow.

  Sucking down one cup of coffee, I filled a travel mug with more and left for Chang’s. It wasn’t too far from the parlor, but it was a long drive because of the slow morning traffic that was struggling to pick its way through yet another
blanket of snow. These damn Winter Court fey needed to back off with the fucking snow. Low Town wasn’t so far north that usually we got several feet of snow each winter. But now it was nearly every other day that we were getting a fresh coat, giving residents just enough time to dig themselves out before it started all over again.

  By the time I found a parking spot more than a block from the entrance to Chang’s, my head was throbbing and I was trying to push down an ugly case of road rage. I’d nearly been hit by a bus when it slid into my lane while trying to stop for a light. Taking a deep breath, I sipped my coffee and waited until I was calm before stepping out into the bitter cold that failed to be alleviated by the bright sunlight reflecting off the piles of snow.

  Burrowing down into my heavy wool coat, I walked briskly to the site of the burned-­out Diamond Doll strip club. I paused in front of it, frowning at its blackened walls and boarded-­up front door. The Towers did this. Fourteen ­people had died that day and several dozen had been injured in their attempts to escape. Most of the buildings on the block were boarded up, while others were simply vacant, the previous owners having left in search of somewhere safer to live. The gods only knew where that was.

  With a shake of my head, I continued past the strip club and turned down an alley beside it. Taking a quick look over my shoulder to make sure no one noticed me, I entered through what looked like another boarded-­up door; but the boards were only there for show. Chang still had a business to run regardless of the chaos the Towers created. This was probably a better cover for him than the strip club.

  I walked quickly across the fire-­scorched concrete floor past broken chairs and shattered glasses. The bar was almost completely gone and I smiled wistfully at it. I missed seeing Jerry Caskey, the owner of Diamond Dolls. We’d talked on a number of occasions as I waited for my turn to talk to Chang. I’d even gotten into the habit of picking up a coffee for him at a nearby cafe before coming in. A mocha-­coconut coffee with nonfat milk, whipped cream, and toasted coconut flakes. I felt like an ass ordering it most of the time, but it made Jerry smile.